Cat's diary
by Teresa Lisbon 123
Summary: Just a peek inside the mind of the great Cat Valantine!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious!

A/N: This is just something I'm going to update whenever the mood strikes me. I was actually thinking of doing a story like this for each of the characters. How does that sound to anybody?

Dear Diary, 4-2-11

You know, it's cold. In my room, I mean. I could go cut off the fan, but then I'd have to move… Oh, look! A butterfly! Oh, it's soooo pretty! Oh, wait, you can't see it because you're a diary. Awwwww…. I feel sorry for you…. You know, maybe you can see it! I don't know! Oh, look, there's a cat outside! What am I doing outside? But I'm not outside, I'm inside! Hey, I just attacked the butterfly! Oh, wait, a cat is an animal. I am a Cat. Never mind. Did you know that Jade is mean? It's true! She is! She told me I looked like something out of a magazine! Then she told me that meant I was flat and shiny. I was like,

"Ugh! You're mean!" And she was all,

"Yeah. Get used to it!" I was like sooo upset! And then later, Robbie pulled me aside and told me I looked like something out of a magazine! I was like,

"What? You're usually nice!" And he acted real innocent, like,

"It was a compliment!" I was all,

"Yeah, calling me flat and shiny is a huge compliment!" And he was all confused, like,

"No, I meant you looked beautiful!" So see, Jade was wrong! Oh, my wall is such a pretty shade of pink… I was thinking of painting it orange, but now I don't know. What do you think, Diary? Huh? Oh, that's right, you can't answer. I wish you could. You'd never be mean to me… did you know that in some countries, people actually eat octopusses- octopies- octipiesies- More than one octopus! Although I guess one person would only eat one… Also, people eat ants covered in chocolate! It's so weird! I think some people even eat…cats! I know people eat dogs. Are cats not as good as dogs? Although, I don't want people to eat me. I wonder why people juggle? It's so pointless. But it's so funny! I love watching jugglers! I'm glad people juggle. Did you know that my Uncle and Uncle asked me to come out for a visit again? It was fun the first time, but it was also kinda weird. I mean, I love Uncle Bobby and Uncle Johnny, but I'm not used to having two men tuck me in. Oh, well. Maybe I'll go. Maybe not. I can read the new Sky Store magazine if I go, without even having to hide it! You know, they have an alarm clock that looks like a mouse, and when it wakes you up, it goes "Squeak Squeak Squeak!" I've gotta get that! We are having spaghetti for supper. I know because I can smell it. Oh! My mom's calling me down for dinner! Bye, Diary!- Love, Cat


	2. Few days later

**A/N: I know, I know, I kind of dropped off the face of the earth…. well, I'm back now! :)**

Dear Diary,

I'm going to go see my uncle and uncle in a few days! They promised to buy me anything I wanted out of the Sky-Store magazine!

Jade says they're trying to buy my love, but that's just…. Oh, look! It's raining!

Oh, guess what? Beck and Tori are going to be in a musical, and they have to pretend like they're in love! Can you believe it? Jade is ready to hurt somebody…

Oh, speaking of Jade, she told me that my hair didn't match my shoes! I was so hurt! I mean, I thought that we were... Oh, wow, my phone's ringing. I'll be right back…

Oh, wow, diary, guess what? Tori and Trina are having a party at their house, and they invited me! They like me!

You know, I think that it would be cool if I painted my ceiling lime green. I love green! It's so pretty! Right now, my ceiling is yellow. I don't like yellow… Oh, no! What if it read that? I was just kidding, ceiling! You're very pretty!

Today, Andre called me Little Red. Oh, diary, you aren't going to believe this! Little Red is from me being LITTLE and having RED HAIR! Oh my gosh, it is like soooo clever!

Oh, and Sikowitz told me that I needed to work on my "Not giggling in the middle of a scene"! I don't know what he means, I never giggle- Oh, heeheehee, a feather fell off of my lamp and landed on my nose! Anyway….. What was I saying? Oh, right, I never giggle! It's just not me!

Did you know that penguins can't fly? I thought all birds could fly! Poor penguins….

I think that eggs are weird, don't you? How do they get the big, huge chickens into the little bitty eggs?

Oh, my favorite song is on the radio!

"Twinkle, Twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle, Twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are."

Oh, ignore the tear stains on your page, Diary, that song just gets to me every time!

Oh, just a second, Diary, I'll be right back. My phone is ringing again.

-+-+,_=[[[]],.,.'''::::))! ^^&&& ^_^ ::::)))){{{{}}}}}}{}{}{+)^^_^^^_^&&^_^

Ok, Diary, I was going to say I was sorry for scribbling all over you, but, on the phone was Tori! She said that she and the gang were…getting worried about me! YAY!

I better go over to their house. Byzzzzze!


	3. Enter And Exit Jade And Beck

Dear Diary,

Ohmygosh, I am so sorry I haven't written in a while! I've been at my Uncle and Uncle's, and I like, totally, forgot you!

I am so sorry!

Ok, it is like ninety-seven degrees outside! I am so cold!

What?

Oh, Jade really needs to stop reading you. She said that I'm hot, not cold. Well, I can't help it I sometimes forget what words mean!

Oh, a-a-a-_butterfly._

Jade, cut it out! Jade just interrupted my writing in you! I'm at the lunch table with my friends right no, by the way. I brought you to school because we have some catching up to do.

_Hopefully you can help her brain catch up with her age._

Jade, I said stop it! That is so hurtful!

I see a cat! Oh, I want a pet cat! But my mom's allergic…Oh no! My mom's allergic to cats, so she must be allergic to me!

_Wish I had that excuse._

You know Jade, you don't always have to be mean to her.

_I'm not. I'm mean to everybody. Except you, of course._

Jade, Beck, get out of my diary!

_Sorry. _

Sorry.

I'm sorry, diary.

Oh, I have to go to class in three minutes…

Oh, Sinjin wants to ask me something…

Ohmygosh. He wanted me to go out with him! Why would he think I was interested?

Although, I did tell him he should call me sometime…

But that was when I needed money for Sky Store!

Anyway, I told him no.

He looked sad.

I really didn't care-oh no! I'M BECOMING MEAN!

!

Ok, breathe. I care about little puppies and kitties, right?

I care about Robbie, Andre, Beck, Tori, and even Jade, Rex, and Trina, right?

I care about rabbits, right?

So, I'm not becoming mean! YAY!

Oh, I'm out of candy bars! I-I-I-what do I do?

Oh, Tori's nice. She gave me one! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Oh, I love my friends!

It is soooo hot! I wish I could go swimming!

But then, I don't have a suit that fits me anymore….I'd go in my clothes!

Did you know that salsa dancing wasn't invented by salsa?

That is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo misleading!

Oh, I'm sorry, I have to go to class! BYEEEEEEEEEZEEEEE!


	4. Ohohoh

**A/N: Several spoilers for Sleepover at Sikowitz and Ice Cream For Ke$ha.**

Dear Diary, again, I totally forgot you! You know, Jade says it's amazing I remember my own name sometimes...But she's just mean!

Anyway, since I last wrote, we got to sleep over at my teacher's house! Or, at least, I was going to, but his super-cute nephew came over, and wanted someone to go to a movie with him, so I left! I think I made Tori mad...I hope not!

Oh, cut it out! Sorry, my imaginary friend told me I looked funny!

Um, Beck says that imaginary friends aren't real, but what does he know? At least, that's what he said at lunch...

Lunch! Speaking of food, Tori made Jade, Beck, Robbie, Andre and I help her go through ice cream containers, trying to find the letters that spelled Ke$ha on the bottom of them!

Oh, look, my mom's in here. Hold on...Oh, she's making me decaf coffee! I really want to try normal coffee, but whenever I ask she just looks at my dad and rolls her eyes and says something like, "Yeah, she really needs caffine!"

What's **that **supposed to mean?

Oh, we had a Ke$ha concert at Tori's the other day!  
Wait, did I already tell you that? Anyway, it was so much fun! I mean, she looked RIGHT AT ME three times during the concert! It was...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! My brother just stuck his head in my room and told me to brush my hair, I looked like a...a...A CAT THAT GOT CAUGHT IN THE RAIN!

Huh? Oh, right. I just remembered, it was raining on the way home from school, sooo...OHMYGOSH, that was sooooooooo clever!

Did you know that I had a crush? Uh-huh, and I'm not going to tell you who! I will say that he is sooo amazing! HeeeHeeeHeee.

Oh, BTW, my radio is playing my second favorite song right now: "Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb, it's fleece was white as snow, and everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go..."

Oh, my favorite show is on! Love ya, byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyzzzzeeeee!

**A/N: I'll let you decide for yourself who the crush is on, I'm just setting the stage for if/when she gets a boyfriend on the show, so it won't be out of nowhere in the diary. So, he's whoever you want him to be. I know that one of you thinks he's Robbie, and another wants him to be Andre, (BTW, how do you put the accent mark over Andre's name?) so for now you're both right, and so is anyone who says he's Beck, or anyone else. I'm leaving it open-ended. :)**


	5. ICat

**A/N: I couldn't do the accent mark, but thanks anyway, Funnel Cake Rocks!  
(That is a Pen Name, for everybody else's info.) You know, this would be a lot easier if you accepted PMs! LOL**

**To everyone else: I am overwhelmed be the reviews this story has gotten! I had no idea so many people wanted a look into Cat's brain! You guys are amazing.**

Spoilers: Several for IParty With Victorious

Dear Diary,

Guess what? I'm the star of the up-comming school play!

Well...At least, I have a roll! I have to walk onto the stage and say, "On this day in 1896..." And tell me, is that not an important line? Why won't you answer me?

I'm crying now, why won't you answer me?

Oh...heeheeh...my brother came in here and asked me what was wrong. When I told him, he reminded me that you were a book, and couldn't talk...sorry...

Heeheeheee, my mom said that she might get me a pet mouse for my Birthday! Isn't that awesome?

By the way, Jade said something soooooo hurtful today! She said that-

Ohohohohohohohohohoh! SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! There's a bird outside! I think he likes me!

Oh, heehee, what if he _likes _me?  
I'm sorry, Mr. Bird, you're very cute, but I love-

Oh, I'm not going to say his name, but you know who!

Did you know that I had a pet fish, but he died? It was so sad...his name was 'Fish.' I got to name him, which is good, because if I hadn't, it might have been something totally weird, like-

Oh, yay! The ice cream truck is on our road!

Oh, boo. Mommy said I couldn't have any!

It's so cold in here! I need a sweater!

Or a penguine! Hahahahahahahaha!...That was funny, wasn't it, Diary? Of course it was!

Jade would say it wasn't...

By the way, you-know-who said the funniest thing! He said...Oh, wait.

I won't say! Heeheeeheeee!

So, like, the other day, we had a party at Kenan Thompson's house!

Yeah, Andre's uncle SOLD HIM A HOUSE, AND HE SAID ANDRE COULD HAVE A PARTY THERE!

It was _awesome! _

But, I didn't have a voice until the end.

These cool girls from a webshow, ICarly, were there!

Oh, and Sam, one of the girls, did a rap! She made Rex feel bad...But he said girls couldn't rap, so he might have actually deserved it...I'll have to ask Jade.  
Then, she'll say,'Of course he did!' and she'll make me feel dumb, and when I tell her that, she'll say, 'Huh, wondr\er if that means anything...' She is sooooooo HURTFUL!

Oh, she's calling!

Oh, Diary, you'd be so proud of me! I told her, 'Why would you say that!' and hung up!  
Although, I didn't tell her what was going on...but you know she knew!

In fact, she probably-Oh, look! There's a bird! It's blue...  
Don't be sad, little Birdy! Please, don't be sad-OH, it flew away!

I'm CRYING now!

I'm blue...Tehee!

Oh, Mommy's calling...write to you later!

**A/N: So, what did you think? Also, I have a poll on my page that might interest you, so PLEASE check it out! xD**


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